Fill your large pot about halfway with water. Get your propane burner going and put the pot on it. Turn the heat to high and let that water start heating up. This takes time, so start early.
Don't cut the sack open! Untie it instead. You can use that sack later. Put the crawfish in a large container or cooler. Rinse them with cold water until the water runs clear. This gets rid of mud and debris. Uncle Stale says you don't need salt for cleaning - just good old water works fine.
When your water starts boiling, add both bags of seafood boil seasoning. Pour in both bottles of liquid cayenne. The water should smell amazing right now. Add the whole gallon of pickled jalapeños with all their juice. This is what makes the heads taste so good.
Put in your potatoes first since they take the longest to cook. Add the onions whole—no need to peel them. Toss in the whole garlic heads. Add your carrot chunks. No need to squeeze the lemon—just drop the halved lemons right into the pot. Let everything boil together until the potatoes are tender when you poke them with a fork. This usually takes about 15–20 minutes.
Here's the most important part. When everything else is ready, add your clean crawfish to the basket. Lower them into the boiling water. As soon as the water comes back to a rolling boil, start your timer. Cook for exactly 2 minutes. No more, no less!
When potatoes are almost done, add your smoked sausage and hot dogs. Let them cook for about 5 minutes. The sausage heats through and the hot dogs get that spicy flavor.
During the last minute of cooking, add your corn pieces. They only need a minute to heat through and get seasoned.
After 2 minutes, turn off the heat. This is the secret step - let everything soak in the hot seasoned water for at least 20 minutes. The longer you soak, the more flavor gets into the crawfish. I usually taste one after 20 minutes and keep soaking until they taste perfect.
Lift out the basket and let everything drain. The crawfish should have soaked up lots of seasoning and flavor. Pour everything onto newspaper or into a large cooler for serving.
